YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 200 BLOGS! RIGHT HERE CRACKER!!! LOL


peace out

I WAN'T 200!!

DAMN IT

ps......I didn't get 200blogs

[[end]]

so today I leave....
and some people aren't taking it to well [carly, jimmy, rhonda, mom, yea me.]]
and I know that TWO MONTHS seems like forever without me. but it's not.
really

If anything I should be the one upset....and i am.
I'm gonna get mi ass kicked in boot camp. gah.

but oh well.

a discussion i had with someone the other day.
made me think.
and I know what I want in mi life now.
I want to go in the military and I want to come out
and I wanna be with James Hosley.
though I may not wanna marry him yet.......

I'm gonna be with him forever.
and I'm betting he doesn't believe a word of this right now.
but it's true.

and I'm sorry for losing ur trust pal.
i love you Jimmy <333

and I'll miss all mi friends and mi familia while I'm gone...but shit crackers I gotta do mi hair and get goin now. it's bout time for me to leave ... <3








I LOVE YOU JIMMY!!

< hope it worked

[[[so that picture at the top was spose to be at the bottom.....dunno what happened there but right now i can't see the picture..it's just some code shit....hmmmm maybe if i copy and paste......]]] -- nvm that

jimmy: you're shoe is right here"
Carly: *sniff sniff* "where"
HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Carly: *later*....YOU BOUT RIPPED MI ZIT OFF MI FACE!!!

when depression mixes with guilt and anger it turns into a big crazy FREAK OUT!!!!!!! .:it's one thing to call me a liar:.
it's another to say
.:I don't deserve to say three words that mean the world to me:.


if this were a chalkboard I would punish myself like teachers do and write 1mill timez.

"I will be a good girlfriend.........I will make Jimmy happy............I wont make his life hell........I will be a good girlfriend...........i will make Jimmy happy....."

~*~and so on and so forth.~*~



To all whom read this,
I'm pretty much the most self-centered low-life nothing of a girlfriend...To all who know me...such as mi best friends or mi once-upon-a-time best friends .... you all know I love Jimmy....I have been told recently that mi "I love yous" are not accepted unless I mean them...in my book love and hate are the two strongest words in the world. I was taught to Love and to never Hate. I was taught not to return the words I love you unless the know the extent of how much you love them. you can love your family and your friends and your animals in one way.......but the one you LOVE with the center of ur heart.....the one who makes you're heart beet faster and slower at the same time......the one who makes you breath quickly every time you hear their name ...you love them an entirely different way.....Jimmy is that one.

Every single night he is mi last thought before I go to sleep.........Every single morning he is mi first thought when I wake up .......... every time my phone rings I get this warm feeling in hope of it being Jimmy and when it is a smile runs from ear-to-ear.

If i could scream and have the entire world hear me............I would announce Jimmy to be the man I love............

I would let everyone know
I am his
100%
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

yes we'll fight..........and I know we'll fight A LOT.....
but I know we'll also work through it.
we'll have a family.
we'll love each other.
we'll be together
<3

fighting is just a reassurance thing more or less.......and I'm a mega retard who doesn't seem to know how to fix thingz.

[[oopz]]

I love Jimmy...with all my heart...and I hope every last one of you know this.
he is mine...and I am his.

Got cha hopes up. drop em.
we're endless.

[[end]]


on another note.........I have a slight problem with the speed of my life now a dayz.
u know that midlife crisis shit ppl go through when they are like FIFTY....yea I'm just turning 18 and ......well u see...shit man almost 20years has gone by QUICK AS SHIT!! .......... 20more years is gonna go by even FASTER!! and I'm gonna be damn near forty........then even more quickly 20more years........almost 60.....and then within the next 20years I'm bound to die.........fuck man. idk mi life is gonna fly and it's kinda scary haha.

[[end x2]]

Dear Bj, + cold heart

[[start rant]]

you know I really hate to be saying this but for once I'm taking a side. I know I typically don't take your side or ur sisters side..I usually let ya'll battle it out but shit bj wtf is your problem for real?

so i figure since YOU DON'T CARE
maybe 2ppl telling you will get it through
cuz rhonda's just ur sister
and you don't care about her
***thats low***

I'm not gonna lie!
your sister is 100% right.
you acted all sad and shit THREE months ago
when We talked bout how i had like 74dayz left or some shit

but now that I have 6dayz
you can't spare me a few days
you gotta go wit ray?
have i EVER FUCKED YOU OVER??

and you know usually I don't like
tellin you whats wrong wit you
and what i dont agree with
but all you think about
is yourself anymore...

you DON'T respect your family
you DON'T respect your sister
and jeezus I dont care if you don't respect me
I'm just some dumbass girl you claim
as you're bestfriend...
but you don't respect me either n e more
I try to joke wit chu and you JUMP DOWN MY THROAT
all you care about now is you..having sex...drugs

AND GIVING SOME GUY YOU'RE MONEY!
and once you run outta money he's gonna
FUCK YOU OVER
when u stop giving him what he wants
HE'S GONNA RUN
AND YOU'RE GONNA CRY!!
and nobody is going to care
because
YOU ARE THE ONE FUCKING PEOPLE OVER NOW!!!
you are gonna expect everyone to comfort you
and they wont..
hell I wont even be here....and you don't even care

you're a great friend bj...
but rays kinda making ur vision a bit blurry
GET IT STRAIGHT
WHATS MORE IMPORTANT!!
ppl who dont use you
family who LOVES YOU

go ahead get mad..say they dont
tell me I'm a bitch
tell me I'm wrong

but you know what bj
YOU'RE WRONG
YOU ARE WRONG!!

I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't care!!
you're parents wouldn't cry over YOU
IF THEY DIDN'T CARE
THATS RIGHT BJ
HOWS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL
you make ur parents cry

oh shit thats right

you don't care.
i'm out


don't even bother fighting me back on this one
cuz i know ur gonna bitch and moan
about how ppl piss you off
and how ur life ain't their business
and how eveyone can fuck off
and how you are happy
YOU'RE JUST LIKE I WAS WHEN I DATE EDDIE

"Kendra I'm glad ur with jimmy and not eddie, cuz u thought u were happy when u were with eddie, but you were the most depressed as i've ever seen you with eddie"
THATS WHAT YOU SAID

and ur doing the same shit
ur gonna drop out now huh
fuck ur life up some more bj
do it
you hope that babii is ray's
so u can be a mommy
fuck ur life up some more bj

u know what
i bet if u read this b4 saturday
u wont come to my party
cuz u'll be mad
and you won't care
you wont try to fix things b4 i leave
because u dont care.
so untill you care

dont fight back
dont defend urself
cuz i CARE
and i dont wanna hear ur sorry
ass excuses for y u cant come

i know ur mom didn't kick u out
i asked.

[[end rant]]

I want him

how do u discipline a horse?

last night was fun.
Spent all day with Jimmy.
Carly and I laughed at like everything the drunks did....we danced with some old people ... yea it was great.

then we like idk.... we all chilled...Carly went up to write a blog *masturbate* and Jimmy and I *hung out*.

and then we pretty much just danced and sang and had a good time... it was a good party.
mines on the 16th at 3at mi house......come on ova <3

Carly Greyson and I .............
sittin at the park.

callin Jimmy tryin to get ahold of him so he would go for a walk with me and talk to me.....but I failed horribly....then mom called and made us come home blah...

but n e hoo...
we sat tellin scary stories right.........and we all have the creeps yadda yadda ya.
yanno.

and i almost got eaten by a spider like making me 80times worse...a brown recluse to top that haha.

and all the sudden i hear "clunk-clunk .... clunk-clunk .... clunk-clunk"...and I about shit..cuz we were talking about murderers sneaking up on ppl....and i was like OH FUCK!! and i turn around and a lone dear is running across the e.schools parking lot haha i was like ARE YOU KIDDING....hah it was great.

but yea that was mi night

what i should have said ---- Me: "My mom...*puts hand over mouth ready to whisper*.....*shouts*....FIVE O'CLOCK SHADOW AT COUNTER FIVE O'CLOCK SHADOW AT COUNTER" HAHAHAHA

what i did say ----- "dood the girl behind us .............."

lady at counter: if u have something to say about me say it to my face

haha

mi belly hurts.......i need some fooooooood .... so I have been getting more and more nervous everyday........damn

today was good..........rhonda and I got to spend time all day.... just like the good ol days.

...................................................................................

today was bad................I've been asked if i'm in a bad mood like 80 timez..
PMS PEOPLE PMS

....................................................................................

but all in all.
today was good

so I pretty much am gonna marry this man someday <3

I love you Jimmy Hosley :D

For you

My feelings for you I now reveal
So now you know just how I feel.
To me it seems so unreal
and together we’ll make our torn hearts heal.

We someday, will live a dream…
But right now we’re climbing to the top of the beam
so we just have to unite and become the winning team.

When I’m gone I’m sure to miss
The feeling of warmth and bliss
each time I feel your kiss

I love you that’s all you should know
And my love for you will continue to grow.
Though some days we seem to be low
Just glance in my eyes and my true love will show.

Once when young I was told
to hold what you have and have what you hold
If you do you’ll live long strong and bold
And in the end you’ll find your gold.



I Love you so much
More and more, each time we touch

Look in my eyes what do you see?
You’re sure to see what our future will be

Kiss me today
Kiss me tomorrow
We’ll be together through happiness and sorrow

I love you now
I’ll love you then
I’m happier than I’ve ever been

Now and forever you’re my love
…it must be faith
Thank that man, up above

I love you

society hates me

I'm pry not gonna blog for a while because Ima fuck up to society.
<3 updates in mi life will only be in person.












I was born to tell you I love you.
and I am torn to do what i have to, and I was born to tell you I love you
and I'm tired of being all alone and this solitary moment makes me wanna come bk home.

yup.....cuz I start it all.
so I have 181 posts...this makes 182. lol

by the time I leave I want exactly 200. <33

I'm so mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was okey starting summer school MONDAY!!!!!
but no all the sudden I'm starting TODAY wtf GAYYYYYYYYY!!!
jeez-us....i did have plans mother but w/e

do as she says I suppose.........god..