call her on the phone and she touched herself
she touched her self
SHE TOUCHED HERSELF!!

I laughed miself to sleep!!

Pop corn and porn....it's like pop-porn hahaha

Carly- 'Like what mi aim convo's consist of anymore these days?"

Kendra -"haha yea kinda like mi yahoo convos...."


Carly -"yea....mainly cuz I'm dirty"

sigh..

so I'm a bad friend...
a bad gf...

and now....nobody is going to watch mi senior dessert theater....grand. :'(

oh what a world.
Today was A BIG reality check....holy shit man
went to Dress rehersal for showchoir yanno...whatever same shit every year.

Damn hit me that this is my LAST SHOWCHOIR....my LAST HIGH SCHOOL YEAR.
then it's off....to the real world...on mi own...all alone.
without mi mom.
with the worries of an ADULT.

it's coming quick. only 1.5 months till school is out.
and omg :(
idk

it's kinda sad...I mean yea I hate skewl and all but. damn man.
It's over. I'm not gonna be a kid n e more. fuckin a'

signed moody

haha...once again -- so that kinda pisses me off...next time you could be a little less assish about it and be just like yeaaaaaaaaaa bla bla bla but yea ya know what I DON'T CARE...some poeple.... three people this morning have already pissed me off...that leads for a good day huh?

memory lane...wow

grrrrrrrrrrrr I officially HATE HATE HATE computers...




I'll see if my mom will do it later..cuz then I wont have to fuck with it
and I wont make myself seem like a worthless piece of crap ha
I'm such a retard........gah


soOo yea last night was fun...when I figure out how to get pictures on mi computer I'll post some.
but intill then just believe in me haha

addicting games(DOT)com from 4-6in the morning is fun when ur with ppl u love n care about <33


ladeda











knock knock whos there trick or treat..PEAS
((I know))

Yea so I wish I could go back in time to October 20th RIGHT NOW!
I wish I could have finished our convorsation. (I never got her advice)

I wish I could feel the way I did on her funeral right now
let it out. SCREAM.

I wish that I wasn't a FUCKING RETARD!!
I wish I didn't say ALL THE WRONG THINGS!

I wish I didn't make matters worse
I wish........FILL IN THE BLANK

so I'm the Queen of Pessimism .... [[SWEET]]...I am royalty

sweeeeeeet...........wud u buy it??

what do ya think? Prom dress for me or not?

a baby? ...... uh?

hummm

so, I usually get all excited like to talk to mmy in the morning.....and and idk I'm pry over exaggerating and all but like he never sleeps through the phone more than 2 or three timez...i've called him 8times now and ugh Idk...............................like when he doesn't answer in the morning and he tells me the night before that he will I think the worst yanno....gay :( but w/e Im just gonna go to skewl :-/

shit list

1. Carrie Martin
2.Mom
3.Justin
4.(INH)
5.Justin Hyde
6.Ed Post
7.STUPID WHORE
8. OPENING
9. OPENING
10. OPENING


not in a good mood....dont get on mi bad side or u'll be on mi shit list too! I have a few openings!!

Kenny: oh i love you
Kenny: xoxo
Jimmy Hoz <3: i love you too <3
Jimmy Hoz <3: you make me feel like nothing can harm me


awww i love him!

oOo oh it's magic yanno :D

Went to Jimmy's today after school...I fall more and more in love with him everyday. <3
and uh, damn...I don't know how to even put these feelings into words.
I just love him so effin much....

and he's got me thinking bout my future more and more
>>more comfortably<<>>more happily<<>>more willingly<< :D
see it with him...want it with him...Idk

so many wonderful feelings and I love it
I love him

<3


*signed love struck*

I might as well kiss heaven goodbye because it's gotta be a sin to look this good

how do you think I feel....I had to switch to lite beer.

Bill "so Kendra...do you like the dark meat or the white meat?...............*laughs* sorry i hadda ask*


((only we found it funny)) hahahah



___________________________________________________________



Kendra "dood whenever I pee Fallon like stares me down like somethings goin on that I dont know about"


Ken "yea at least you dont have things dangling down there so they can reach up and try to grab them while ur pissing.....DADDY WHATS THAT"


lmao

so I don't know whats up. you see..... I don't really know how to explain it either....
I had the best night, I played with Kippy and Fallon and got to talk and laugh with Ruthie, Wags, Mom, Bill and Ken ((Gram and Kelly were at BINGO))....and it was GREAT!! I loved to hear Fallon sing and laugh and scream and watch her run and play and even cry....it was all amazing.

I got back from Ruthies cuz Kippy and Fallon had to go night night and we spent a bit more time talking and watching *when good pets go bad* on Spike TV....and then we said goodbyez to wags, ruthie and Ken and we headed out......

well as we were driving I was just kinda in a panic cuz we couldn't hardly see 2feet in front of us due to the fog ((that Jimmy is out in right now..eek))....and I just was in a bit of a frenzy cuz I thought we were gonna crash and my eyes started playing tricks on my eyes and I kept on seeing things........like things jumping into the road like people animals debree (sp) and things that could cause us to crash....it sucked idk.

over all my night was good..

we got back here, I layed down for a bit......fed mi dog and then mom went to bed and I just layed in the dark watching COPS....well Brea's picture was right over me........like I couldn't see it from where I was and I didnt even think about it being there....but I like....I felt her....I knew she was in this house....her closest loved ones are all in Austin tonight so she is watching over everyone...........and it just ..........it was different........I'm so upset with myself because usually I dont get scared when I feel Brea around me...........but this time it scared me BAD.....and I just wanted it to go away..........in other words... i was wishing brea to go away......WHY would i WISH BREA TO GO AWAY... :( .....

It could have been Brea's dad or brother....so it might have been a different feeling yanno (maybe you dont)...but usually when I feel brea around me I get so HAPPY ...that i know she's there with me and I never want her to leave...but tonight I freaked out......BAD (hence the reason im on momma jeans computer)

I miss Brea...I really do.........so much............I dont even know how to explain the feelings I with hold................idk :(

...sometimes I just wanna curl into a little ball and waste away to nothing....but I know that wouldn't help anything besides my selfish feelings. so I dont ever let myself show how upset i really am inside cuz I know it would hurt so many other people if they saw what i was truly feeling day by day.....night by night.............so


I'm gonna go back to the couch with mi dog....watch cartoons or something.........and cry and mourn all by miself (thats the way to be right hahaha)

Goodnight to all

<3





PS...I love you jimmy<3

this is my 98th post....*random*

so yea Fallon Kippy Ken and Kelly are leaving tom. around nap time so between 12:30 and 1:30.....sigh. that sux :(
I'm gonna miss her muchly. ((again))

yea so here I am, at momma Jeans house.
It's crazy.

We went to Ruthies for lunch and played with Fallon and Kippy. They both talk SO MUCH.

When I first got here Mom, Ruthie and the kids were over at the store so we walked over to the store and as soon as I saw Fallie she gave me a big hug and a kiss and announecd to me that she had a bicycle hahaha. It was cute.

Then I asked her if she wanted to see the puppy (we left Oscar in the car) and she was like "OSCAR??" ........ she remembered him. So we went to Ruthies to eat and the two kids ate and then they ran and ran and ran.......we played "Get kippy".........."Get Fallie"...............and "Get Kendra" haha it was so adorable.

Everytime I would go in a different room I'd hear a little voice "wheres Kendra wheres Kendra"...miss fallie lookin for me.

I read her a nap time story....and we layed on the kitchen floor together and she gave me lots and lots of kisses haha.....then she was like I LOVE YOU!! and then when we had to leave she was all sad like....pry cuz she doesn't understand that we are coming back for dinner in a bit....she just had to take a nap and Jean had to take a nap so we came back to momma Jeans house for a bit.....and thats where I am now.

Man if I could turn back time......Brea would have loved to see this.

...I find it kinda funny


so I guess nobody else gets it heh......w/e FUCK YOU WHORE
(dont even ask me who this blog is to, cuz its no to anyone in particular it's to a bunch of people I guess..........----------dood i just like sleep typed hahah...i was typing then i woke up n i dreamed a lil bit and typed it out so i fixed it hahah.

...............w/e





found this.......

Girls - when at the movie put ur head on his shoulder
Guys - lift up her chin and kiss her softly

Girls - when you wanna cuddle say your cold
Guys - move in closer

Girls - When you upset say nothings wrong
Guys - know that sometimes means EVERYTHING seems wrong to her.


















damn.....................

dood u just laid on your computer....




ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?

Wouldn't it be nice if everything was on your side? What if everything you wished for came true? What if all the bad was put into a little chest with a big pad lock never to be let out? Now that would all be great if I got my wishes and wants all the time, but reality takes its toll and we all know that's not how life works. But sometimes it would be nice to Know what was coming to you and get what you want. Don't take this as though I'm being selfish and saying I want a million dollars or anything, hell that would be nice but thats not at all what I'm saying. What if you could change the past? If you could save someones life, and the future of an innocent childs life...would you go back and time and do so? EVEN if it consisted of sacrificing YOUR life?

I wish that I could go back in time to October 20th 2006 and change the entire day... I bet if I changed just a few things it wouldn't have happened.

If I could...I'd go back....
I wouldn't have changed the time on my note.
I wouldn't have came all the way back to Coudersport just so she could meet a boy
((who had no interest))
I wouldn't have said "I hope you die in a tragic car accident"
I wouldn't have let Fallon fall at the Dollar Store.
I wouldn't have forgotten the Allergy Pills for Brea.
I wouldn't have laughed when she hydroplaned the 1st time.
I wouldn't have yelled at her when she died...because she'd still be alive.
I wouldn't be guilty any more.
and finally
I wouldn't be alone....on nights I need to talk to someone
((and nobody is around))
I wouldn't be writing this.
I wouldn't cry............



......If I could turn back time

**back to reality**

Glinda Glitter and Tony Pimpster comin' at cha

((plop))

me-"Bj I could picture you doing that"


bj-"WHY THE FAT KID?"

lyrics may not be 100% correct because I typed em myself...cuz I couldn't find them anywhere. so yea. But I like this song

Grtiz - Ooh Ahh

My life be like Ooh Ahh Ooh-ooh
My life be like Ooh Ahh Ooh Ahh Ooh-ooh
Ooh Ahh Ooh-ooh
My life be like Ooh Ahh Ooh Ahh Ooh-ooh

CHORUS:
It's times like these that make me say,
Lord if you see me please come my way.
Leavin bread crumbs for when I stray
Rely on sacrifice and the price you paid
Feel me like a fingertip
(flow fingertip flow fingertip)
Sometimes I fall I slip
Got a heartfelt desire be more like you
Trying not to quench your fire by the things that i do


I'm on an island by my lonesome stranded
low key and stayin’ candid
reflect on all the things i try my hand at
search for the equations to persuasions im used to
finding comfort in the zones of closet bones i get loose to
a mountainous fontaine
spinnin and monsoonin’
grinnin’ its high octane
explosive how i came
rollin down hills cause lifes a hastle
encircled by my folly like a moat surround a castle
stay afloat catch a second wind
thin is the air i breathe
teary eyed nose runnin’
wipe the snot on my sleeve
im callin’ on my savior
to be all that i need
please forgive me
my behavior had me lost at light speed


CHORUS:
It's times like these that make me say,
Lord if you see me please come my way.
Leavin bread crumbs for when I stray
Rely on sacrifice and the price you paid
Feel me like a fingertip
(flow fingertip flow fingertip)
Sometimes I fall I slip
Got a heartfelt desire be more like you
Trying not to quench your fire by the things that i do

the fear of never falling in love
and the tears after losing the feelings
of what you thought love was
like the dirt still up under the rug
bad characteristics
covered in christs blood
the joy of new birth
and the pain of growing up
the bliss between giving my all
and giving up
the highs and lows
paths and roads i chose
in the cold i froze
trying to ease my woes
in this world of sin
clothes to thin to fend
so to God i send
words of help to win
in grumblings so deep
letters could never express
so the sound of ooh aah
beneath my breath projects

CHORUS:
It's times like these that make me say,
Lord if you see me please come my way.
Leavin bread crumbs for when I stray
Rely on sacrifice and the price you paid
Feel me like a fingertip
(flow fingertip flow fingertip)
Sometimes I fall I slip
Got a heartfelt desire be more like you
Trying not to quench your fire by the things that i do

*don't be bad*

My life be like ooh aah ooh
Come young diti
Here comes that boy from the capital city
Last up on the Grits new diti
But eight bars of the truth will do, eh
I beleive there's a bride thats stunning
And, I believe in the kingdom coming
I believe if you seek the truth,
You don't need to look far cuz it's gonna find you

So why, oh why, do I trip and stumble?
And ooh ahh as commitments crumble?
I can't believe that I'm hear again ((echo))

(chorus)x2
It's times like these that make me say,
Lord if you see me please come my way.
Leavin bread crumbs for when I stray
Rely on sacrifice and the price you paid
Feel me like a fingertip
(flow fingertip flow fingertip)
Sometimes I fall I slip
Got a heartfelt desire be more like you
Trying not to quench your fire by the things that i do
>My life be like<

My life be like x4

so Im puking mi guts up ((literally just about))

and I was all happy cuz for once I wasn't an emo sick person....and now the moods hit me :((
















so i miss brea a lawt

[Kendra] my turn....

*Carly turns head*

((EXTREME LAUGHTER))


[Kendra] I ALMOST KISSED YOU ON THE MOUTH!

I feel like I can't blog this enough hahah soOo......

>I love him
>>I love him
>>>I love him
>>>>I love him
>>>>>I love him
>>>>>>I love him
>>>>>>>I love him
>>>>>>>>I love him
>>>>>>>>>I love him
>>>>>>>>>>I love him
>>>>>>>>>>>I LOVE HIM
>>>>>>>>>>I love him
>>>>>>>>>I love him
>>>>>>>>I love him
>>>>>>>I love him
>>>>>>I love him
>>>>>I love him
>>>>I love him
>>>I love him
>>I love him
>I love him


yea thats right guyz...........I'm ALLLLLLLLLL HIZ.......thats right thats right you better be jealous haha <33

.......yay













dont forget that

stay with me forever <3











i love Jamez Isaac Neutron

I love him <3

Suck my big toe ((enough said))

me and greysons bathroom convo!

so I went in the boys bathroom with Greyson cuz he hadda pee...


"I have to pee Greyson!"
NOT UH
"YA HUH"
ARE YOU GONNA GO?
"NO WAY! I CAN'T PEE IN THE BOYS BATHROOM!!"


hehehehehheheee i find it funnie!! hehe silly me <3
I Love Greyson!! :D......


so never go to skewl high haha okey i lied DO ITTTTTT its fun!! hahaaha