so I don't know whats up. you see..... I don't really know how to explain it either....
I had the best night, I played with Kippy and Fallon and got to talk and laugh with Ruthie, Wags, Mom, Bill and Ken ((Gram and Kelly were at BINGO))....and it was GREAT!! I loved to hear Fallon sing and laugh and scream and watch her run and play and even cry....it was all amazing.

I got back from Ruthies cuz Kippy and Fallon had to go night night and we spent a bit more time talking and watching *when good pets go bad* on Spike TV....and then we said goodbyez to wags, ruthie and Ken and we headed out......

well as we were driving I was just kinda in a panic cuz we couldn't hardly see 2feet in front of us due to the fog ((that Jimmy is out in right now..eek))....and I just was in a bit of a frenzy cuz I thought we were gonna crash and my eyes started playing tricks on my eyes and I kept on seeing things........like things jumping into the road like people animals debree (sp) and things that could cause us to crash....it sucked idk.

over all my night was good..

we got back here, I layed down for a bit......fed mi dog and then mom went to bed and I just layed in the dark watching COPS....well Brea's picture was right over me........like I couldn't see it from where I was and I didnt even think about it being there....but I like....I felt her....I knew she was in this house....her closest loved ones are all in Austin tonight so she is watching over everyone...........and it just ..........it was different........I'm so upset with myself because usually I dont get scared when I feel Brea around me...........but this time it scared me BAD.....and I just wanted it to go away..........in other words... i was wishing brea to go away......WHY would i WISH BREA TO GO AWAY... :( .....

It could have been Brea's dad or brother....so it might have been a different feeling yanno (maybe you dont)...but usually when I feel brea around me I get so HAPPY ...that i know she's there with me and I never want her to leave...but tonight I freaked out......BAD (hence the reason im on momma jeans computer)

I miss Brea...I really do.........so much............I dont even know how to explain the feelings I with hold................idk :(

...sometimes I just wanna curl into a little ball and waste away to nothing....but I know that wouldn't help anything besides my selfish feelings. so I dont ever let myself show how upset i really am inside cuz I know it would hurt so many other people if they saw what i was truly feeling day by day.....night by night.............so


I'm gonna go back to the couch with mi dog....watch cartoons or something.........and cry and mourn all by miself (thats the way to be right hahaha)

Goodnight to all

<3





PS...I love you jimmy<3