omg man!!

soOo im not allowed to show Jimmy emotions n e more......ha
so ima be an emotionless person........
just imagine me without a face........thats kinda what its like.......

so that kinda sux..............cuz he always wants to know whats wrong........BUT then when i tell him its the WRONG thing to say.........but really........come on if something is wrong u cant expect it to be pleasant...........idk............so now I was just on the phone with Jimmy and I wanted to tell him sommin really bad..........but i hadda act like nothing was buggin me..........so i couldn't tell him i just started laughing and acted as tho i was swell...........WHY IS NOBODY ELSE AWAKE AT 4AM WHEN I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T CARE HOW BAD IT IS!!! stupid boi stupid boi stupid boi stupid boi...................

well needless to say wanna know whats buggin me NOW...beside the fact that I heard the noise that i hear that is SOOOOOOOO PAINFULLY LOUD!! ................

..............................((I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS HOW U MEANT THIS JIMMY BUT......THIS IS HOW I TOOK IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO))

.......................today at Jimmys house he said "you're a piece of work"........and all of us agreed that...that was his way of saying he cant handle me...and im annoying to him...and that I'm to much for him and basically he cant put up with me right.........thus that made me feel GREEEEEEEAT...............so someone no name said HE was a piece of work for thinking I was a piece of work so that made me chuckle a little i guess.......

THEN

................tonight when I told him what was wrong with me he basically told me he doesn't wanna listen to me talk about whats upsetting me ((right after he told me he wanted me to tell him)) ... and he said I'm just trying to push him away by telling him these things.....BUT HE'S THE ONE WHO ASKS....and I dont know what im spose to do.......am i spose to lie and make up some stupid thing that im not really thinking............like say oh nothing i was just upset cuz bj did this yadda yadda when really its the voices make me wanna shoot myself in the face..........hmm idk what one i should revert to doing right.........

THUS.....
I'm no longer allowed to show emotion..........so after this blog........i'm either NOT gonna blog OR ima be a HAPPY BLOGGER!! no more meaningful blogs...................cuz even if i dont show and tell mi sorrows to him he'll read em so im just gonna blog less or sommin.......

but for mi Karrie and Bj and Rhon I'll still blog on myspace so u can read mi rants........
I'm hoping this solves ur probs Jimmy.....Im not attempting to PUSH U AWAY.

Im just doing what you want ........................ TALK .................. and when i do.......all the sudden I'm doing what you dont want?? how does that work.........I'm sorry...but it just doesn't make sence to me...........

[end]
.:signed emotionless:.